Tales of the Parodyverse

The Ham-Tastic Adventures of Ham-Boy, Numbuh 1/2: Haven't I done this before


Post By

L!
Wed Nov 26, 2003 at 06:14:21 pm EST
[ New ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]



The Goth Haven Cultral Museum
Way beyond closing time, around mid-night.

A caped man breaks in the museum & disables the security system quite easily. He is there for the fabled mystical technological artifact, the Blue Winged Mongoose Gem of Whatanobi. For which its mysticalness is only eclipsed by its technologicalness.

"Halt, base villain. I am the hero that stalks villains like you in the night. For I am, Ham-Boy!" Ham-Boy said from the second balcony. The man looks up, Ham-Boy jumps down the ground floor. a pillow of pork patted his fall.

"You can't stop me, Spam-Boy. For I am Cliché."

"Who ?" Ham-Boy said.

"I am Cliché. Ever since I was a little boy growing up in rual kansas, I have loved comic books but found that they mostly worked off of clichés. So, after my parents were killed by a mugger & I was sent to live with my aunt & uncle, who was shot by another mugger trying to protect my aunt. I found that my life was just one big comic book cliché. Becuase the super villians always had the better clichés, I became the super villian, Cliché."

"Thank you, Mr. one minute life story. But, why are you here ?"

"I am here to steal the mystical, technological Blue Winged Mongoose Gem of Whatanobi that is here on loan to the museum."

"Why ?"

"I don't know, that's just what villians do ?"

"I can't let you do that."

"Why ?"

Ham-Boy hit him square in the jaw, knocking him out. "That would be wrong, that's why."

"Ow, that hurt." HB said as he flet the pain in his hand.

He walks over to the display case which the gem is being held in to see what all the fuss was about.

"Huh ?" Ham-Boy says outloud as he sees that the case is empty.

"Let's do the time warp, again." Ham-Boy hears from behind him just before a bright light blinds him.

---------------------
Piney oaks, Iowa
Monday Morning
The Harris Home, just on the outskrits of the city.

A red plastic phone rings.

*Ring*

*Ring*

The phone sits on a pile of paper in a messy room. As it rings, a light inside blinks on & off. Clothes, toys, books, food & piles of paper are scattered around. The floor cannot be seen from under all that stuff. Posters for movies, bands & some with girls wearing little to nothing on their bodies litter the walls. Your typical room for a teenage boy. But this is just any teenage boy's room.

*Ring*

*Ring*

Under a pile of clothes & bedding which can only be assumed on the bed, a person starts to move. He starts to groan. It's to early for him. He was out late.

"Uhh."

*Ring*

" Uhh, Huh, Muh."

" Uhh, Huh, Muh, Luh."

*Ring*

" Uhh, Huh, Muh."

" Uhh, Huh, Muh, Luh."

*Ring*

An arm appears from under the pile of bedding, it is searching for the phone. The ringing of the phone is making his head hurt.

*Ri.. *

*CLICK*

He finds it; the arm brings the phone back under the bedding.

"'Ello. Hi, Jack. Yeah, this is he. What? The password. Uh,... the grass is greener when you water it with love. Yeah, uh huh, Ok, China, evil overlord, millions will die. Tomorrow. No, you didn't wake me up, I have been up for hours. Ok, yeah, goodbye."

He hangs up. The bedding & clothes flies off the bed. This is the room of Fred Harris, He is also known to some as the teenage super hero, Ham-Boy. Fred starts to look for his costume. Stuff goes flying, making more piles upon piles.

"Where did I put my costume?" Fred mutters to himself as searches. Last night in a daze, he took off most of his costume & fell asleep. He was still wearing the shorts & tights.

"Ah, a boot. Now where's the other boot?"

After a search, Fred finally finds his costume, a grey sweatshirt, grey tights, utility belt, dark blue shorts, red boots, a dark blue cape & his cowl that looks like a Ham. Fred created the costume himself, it would have been better if he had more money.

He pulls on his cowl over his head & walks out to the kitchen. His mother, Janis Harris-Smith, is making breakfast. She is cooking bacon, eggs, toast and Fred's favorite cereal is on the table, Atomic Blasted Coco-Puffs with little sort of marshmallow type bits in the shape of skulls.

Janis is wearing a silk nightee, it covers just enough not to be obscene, but shows just enough to be sexy. Her red hair hangs down, slightly messed, over her shoulders. Her green eyes twinkle in the sunlight coming in from the Kitchen window.

Fred sits down at the table. Janis turns around to give him a bowl & some milk.

"Fredrick Hogarth Harris, what did I say about wearing your costume at the table ?"

"Not to. But, I got a call on the Ham-Phone."

"Well, I got a call on the Mom-Phone that says children, not even super powered ones, can't wear costumes on at the table. At least take off the cowl, honey."

Fred takes off the cowl & pours himself a bowl of cereal. Fred thinks to himself that he is having as feeling of Deja Vu, like he has already done this before put then dismisses that thought.

Jordan Smith, Fred's stepfather, walks into the kitchen. He is wearing his white button down pajama top with little green stripes; the pants have the same theme & are drawstring. He wearing a maroon robe over them & blue slippers on his feet. Under his arm is the morning paper. Jordan's brown hair is greying at the temples. His mustache is also greying. He is smoking a pipe. Fred thinks his stepfather just walked out of a 1950's sitcom.

Jordan takes out his pipe & kisses Janis on the cheek. "Morning, Honey Lupps."

"Hello, Fred. How did you sleep, my boy ?" He said as he light the pipe.

"Fine." Fred said as he poured some milk on his cereal. The cereal makes the milk turn blood red.

"We slept very little last night. Eh, Janis?" Jordan said as he winked at Janis.

"Jordan!" Janis said in an astonished tone as she slaps Jordan on the back of his head.

"Yeah, I know. I heard you. Something about it being to cold & want my mom to get you more blankets." Fred thought to himself.

Most of breakfast was spent in silence. Fred doesn't really like Jordan, he acts weird but he puts up with him because his mom likes him. Fred finished his cereal & cleans up; he puts the bowl into the sink.

"Bye, mom!" Fred said as he walks out the back door & puts on his Ham Cowl.

"Bye, Fred! Don't hurt yourself."

Jordan looks up from his paper "Where's Fred going, surgarloaf ?"

"To train!" Janis said as she buttered some toast.

"Good. After-school activities like that are good for a boy. Just like me & football." Jordan said as a puff of smoke came out of his pipe. It is 8:30 in the morning.

Fred walks out to the barn on there property. No one ever goes to it anymore. Most of the land that used to be the Harris Farm was sold off, the barn is the last piece from the farm. Fred thought it would make a good headquarters for Ham-Boy.

"Hi, Fred." A kindly female voice said from just inside the Barn.

"Hey, Betty." Fred said.

Betty Stevens lives down the road from the Harris'. She & Fred met in the 3rd grade & became friends. She is one of the few people outside of Fred's family that know he is Ham-Boy. Fred found it was much easier to just tell his family & close friends then to keep it a secert from them.

"Here, my cousin sent my family some produce, he always sends too much. I was wondering if your mom could use some of it." Betty said as she gave Fred a heaping bag of food.

"I am sure she could. How is your cousin, anyway ?"

"Well, fine. I guess. I think he is still the produce manager at the Dullard's Corner S-mart. I haven't seen he since the last family reunion." Betty said. *

*WRITER'S NOTE: Unknown to most of the world & Betty but her cousin, Jasper Stevens, is the super hero Kid Produce & longtime memeber of the JBH.

"He acts a bit weird, kind of like you, Fred. He always seems to be hidding something."

"What he might be in secret be a super hero?" Fred asks kiddingly.

"Maybe, I don't know. He does always seem to disappear when Kid Produce shows up."

Most of Fred's time is spent waiting for a call to action, Betty comes by to keep him company. Fred considers himself a low level super hero.

"So, what do you have to do today?" Betty asks.

"Not much. I got work at two, I get off at eight. The rest of the time, not much. Tommorrow, I have to stop an evil overlord in China & I don't know how I am getting there. How about you?"

"About the same, just without the job or the china thing. I got laid off from my job at Mike's fruit stand. I guess he did not like me throwing fruit at people. Wait a minute, I thought you quit because you were going to school in Goth Haven?"

"I am going to. Today is the day I quit."

"Why not earlier?"

"Today is payday. I'm not stupid."

Fred is moving to Goth Haven for College & to fight crime. He has everything set, he has a place to live & all he has to do is sign up for classes. Tomorrow, Fred leaves Piney Oaks for the big city.
------------------

The next day, after a four-hour drive on his scooter, he arrives at the Goth haven city limits. He already taken most of his stuff to his new home earlier, with the help of Betty's car. Betty might be coming to Goth Haven to going to college, too. She is finnishing up her GED at the Piney Oaks learning annex.

Fred gets to his apartment building. His appartment is on the top floor, it's a loft. The loft is two stories; the upper & smaller story is just a room, which Fred is going to use as a sleeping area. It is only accessible by using a ladder. In his sleeping area is an alarm clock, dresser, a lamp, a small TV, mattress & a small closet.The room is small & that's only what it will fit. Some of Fred's posters are on the walls in his sleeping area. Fred only brought what he needed, the rest is at home.

The main floor holds a bathroom, a large kitchen & a large living area. Given that Fred doesn’t have a lot of stuff, the loft is mostly empty. He has couple chairs, a desk, a computer, the Ham-Phone, costume storage, a freezer full of meat, some bookcases & some books, a couch & a bigger TV. One thing he likes is that he has easy excess to the roof. The loft has large windows. He can see one of the City's downtown parks from his loft. Fred was there for a few minutes & he already saw his first major super hero/super villian fight. Goth Haven is a large super hero population.
-------------

Meanwhile in an semi-abandoned warehouse in the warehouse district of Goth Haven, near the docks. The warehouse is leased to a person by the name of Ms. Eve Hill. Ms. Hill doesn't exsist, that is just the name the residents use to no be bothered.

The residents are a super villian team that go by the name of The Disgruntles. A meeting is being held, The Members that are present are: The Evil Captain Crunch, president. Dr. Peacock, vice president, Auntie Freeze, Kitty Boom-Boom & Grammar. The group sits around a table with the word Disgruntles etched into it. Their main mission in life is to defeat Ham-Boy.

"My fellow super villains, you know why we are here!" the Evil Captain Crunch said.

"Actually, no. You said to just meet you here at the headquarters at 9 am & it's 9:15. I had to cancel two appointments to be here." Dr. Peacock said. He is wearing one of those white lab smocks that buttons up on side of his chest, a green mouth-mask, and a lamp on his head. His brown hair is thining on the top, his big peacock frill spread out behind him.

"I don't get up before 11 most mornings. It interfears with my sleeping habbits." Kitty Boom-Boom said, yawning. She was also petting one of her atomic exploding cats, for which she is named after. She is wearing a pair of body hugging pants, A tank top & on her head is a headband with fuzzy cat like ears. Also on her head are a pair of googles, they protect her eyes from flying cat pieces. She also has a shoulder bag full of cats beside her. Strapped to her right arm is her catapult (no pun intended). Amy gets can chuck the cats farther with the catapult, then with her just throwing them.

"You know, we always meet to plan the destruction of Ham-Boy!" The Evil Captain Crunch said.

"So?" Grammar said, wearing a full body black spandex suit, shadowy letters run across his body.

"I have reason to believe that Ham-Boy is moving to Parodipolis." The Evil Captain Crunch said.

"Um, sir. Mr. Evil Captain Crunch."

"Yes, Kitty Boom-Boom. What is it ?" The Evil Captian Crunch said in an uninterested tone.

"I was told that he wasn't."

"I was told that to." Dr. Peacock said.

"Grammar, were you told Ham-Boy was not moving to Parodipolis?"

He noded.

"Where is he moving to?"

"I think here." Grammar said.

"Why?"

"We don't have all the answers. If we did, Ham-Boy would be dead by now or at least hurt." Dr. Peacock said.

Auntie Freeze, wearing a couple thirty year old coats, with scarves wrapped round the bottom half of her face and cut-off knitted gloves, is asleep.
------------------

Goth Haven University Admissions Office
The Next Day.

"So, Fred. Can I call you Fred? You are here to sign up for classes, I am I right?" Said your typical looking teachery type person, Mr. Jonas Vander Gussen.

"Yes, on both."

"Good, what do you want to take?"

"I have them all listed on the form." Fred said as he gave the man the form.

"You want to take all independent study classes ?"

"Yes, it fits well into my schedule. I do a lot of...of, uh..."

"Drugs ?"

"No, community service! Yeah, community service."

"Oh, great. That will look great on your transcript & it will boost your point rating."

"What point rating ?"

"Every student starts out here at GHU with a thousand points & points are added or taking away for GPA, money status, gender, nationality, after school activities, etc."

"It's that illegal?"

"No, Fred. Immoral, yes. Illegal, no."

"Let's just enter you into our system & register you for classes."

Mr. Vander Gussen starts typing in the information. A few minutes later,

"Ok, your in our system now. Take this receipt to the cashier in the Anderson building & you can now pay for your classes. Have a nice day."

Fred leaves the office & then, his Ham-Sense is goes off. He knows it is his Ham-Sense because it gives him a special type of headache.

"Evil is happening somewhere around here. It might not be anything, it is College." Fred thinks to himself.

On top of a building, a man watches Fred. He has evil intents for him.

"Patriarch, I have the target sited. What do you want me to do now ?" The man said in to his cell phone.

After paying for school, Fred gets on his scooter & he drives back to his apartment, school starts in two months. Fred fumbles with his keys to get into his building. He walks up the creaky steps to the top floor & unlocks his door to his apartment. He walks in & puts down the keys on the kitchen counter. He has one new message on his answering machine, he presses the button.

*Beep* "First new message. Today, 12:15 pm." said the answering machine.

"Hello, this Amazing Guy. I am the leader of the super hero team, the JBH. I am looking for the super hero called Ham-Boy. This was the number the Parodioplis's mayor's office gave me. But, I'm not sure if this is the right number. I would like to set up a meeting between me & him. If Ham-Boy can call me back at 555-Hero, extension 01, that would be great. Thank you & have an Amazing day!"

*Beep*

"Why does Amazing Guy want to talk to me? Did do something wrong? Was there some Super Hero form that I was to fill out but didn’t?" Fred thought to himself.
---------------

A couple days after THE phone call.

"Ok, I am going to call." says Fred to himself.

He has been saying that ever since Amazing Guy called. He has Amazing Guy's number on a piece of paper in his hand "555-Hero, extension 01." Fred is pacing in his living room by the phone. Fred picks up the reciver, starts to dial, he stops & put the reciver down. He's neverous, no major super hero has ever called him. The Parodipolis Mayor's office called once, but what he was called about was handled by the Lair Legion. He always felt like he flew under the radar of the major heroes. He doesn't feel right calling Amazing Guy. He is Amazing Guy, the Amazing Guy, the leader of the JBH.

For the last couple days, thoughts like that have been going throught his mind. Why does Amazing Guy want to meet him ? Did he do something wrong ? Was there some super hero form that he didn't fill out & Amazing Guy was going to punish him for not doing so ? Should he show up in costume or not ? Where should they met ? Certainly not at his appartment or the barn back at home, not good enough for Amazing Guy. Where is the JBH HQ ? the Lair Legion has the Lair Legion Mansion on Lair Legion Isle, Where is the JBH's JBH Mansion on JBH Isle ? These thoughts and more go throught his mind ever time he goes to call.

"Ok, I am going to do it." he says.

He picks up the reciver & starts to dial.

555-4376

It rings & rings for a couple minutes.

"Hello & welcome to the JBH phone system. Who would you like to talk ? Cetainly not me, no one ever talks to me. " said a depressed female voice.

"Uh, Amazing Guy."

"We don't have a Uh, Amazing Guy but we have a Amazing Guy & he's not here. Would you like to leave a message ?"

"Sure, could you tell him that I am returning his call. This is Ham-Boy."

"Ok. I am sure you are going hang up now, everyone does. No wants to talk to me."

Fred feels a bit bad but hangs up.

"I wonder why that woman is so depressed ?" he thinks.
---------------------------------

The next morning, around 5 am.

*Ring*

*Ring*

"It's the phone, who would be calling at this time of the night. Who even knows my number ?" Fred thinks as he wakes up from a peaceful slumber. Last night was another long night of super heroing.

"Amazing Guy knows my number, I called him & left a message with that depressed woman. Maybe it's Amazing Guy ?" Fred thought as he laid on his mattress stairing at the ceiling. It was on the floor of his small room that is the second floor of the loft. Fred gets up & walks out of the room to get the phone on the first floor, forgetting that the only way up or down from the second floor is by ladder.

"Oh, great!" Fred says outloud.

A mass of meat crawls out of Fred's meat locker, located a few feet from where he is falling.

"Uh!" he says as he hits the mass of meat, which has placed it's self directly under Fred.

*Ring*

*Ring*

Fred races to the phone and..

"Hello !" he said as he picked a cocktail weenie out of his ear. The meat has crawled back into the meat locker.

No one's on the other end, Fred hangs up & starts go about is morning.

"What time is it ?"

He finds a clock.

"4:45 in the morning. I didn't even know there was a 4:45 in the morning."

He gets out a a box of his favorite ceral, Atomic Blasted Coco-Puffs with little sort of marshmallow type bits in the shape of skulls. He takes the box & sits down on the couch. Fred starts to eat the ceral as he turns on the TV.

"It picks up this bowling ball like it was a small cat. It's that amazing." said a short, annoying brittish sounding man with orange hair. He was selling a special type of vaccum.

*click*

"Would like to make money in your spare time, well I know how. But, the cops found out & now I am in jail. So, don't do it."

Then a announcer says "A PSA from the council for a better life by way of cats."

*click*

"The winner of the Alan Rickman contest is this man right here, Mr. Ian Watson. How do you feel ?"

*click*

"Now, Jerry. Why don't you just go out with Elaine & take this axe, you know what happens next. BAM!"

"No, Kramer. Killing Elaine is not going to cover up the the death of George any more then the death of Newman will cover it up."

#Laughter#

*click*

"Come on down to Cowboy Buddy's. Where the food fight's back. "

*click*

"Come along. You belong. Feel the fizz. We have been waiting for you. We will provide a better that life that you have every imagined. So, just Come along. You belong Feel the fizz."

*click*

Fred falls asleep, again. Many hours later, wakes up & notices that he has a message on his answering machine. He press the button to play the messages.

*Beep* "First new message. Today, 7:43 am." said the answering machine.

"Hello, this Amazing Guy. I am returning Ham-Boy's call. We need to stop playing this game of phone tag. I'll be by my phone for the next couple hours. I would like to talk soon. Have an amazing day!"

*Beep*

"He called back. I guess he really wants to talk to me." Fred thought.

Fred's attention turns to the screen again. Fred is shocked to see what's on the screen stairing back at him.

"Are we on ?" asks the man on the screen. The man is cartoonish, he was dressed up as a pirate, his jacket is a bright blue, his pants & boots are black. On his bright blue hat is a skull. His hair is a dark black.

"Oh, we are. Attention, Goth Haven. For I am the Evil Captain Crunch, leader of the super villian team, the Disgruntles. I am making this anoucement on Public Access becuase one, it cheap & two, well there isn't a number two." said the super villian.

"The Evil Captain Crunch, one of my greatest foe has formed a super villian team, why wasn't I told about this ?" Fred thinks as he eats some more ceral.

"This anoucement is going out to Ham-Boy, my arch-foe. Me & my team will be dropping a giant rubberband ball on the city of Goth Haven, which is where we think you currently do your super heroing."

Shown behind ECC is a 5 foot tall, a couple feet wide ball of rubberbands.

"We will drop this ball around noon, maybe earlier. It will do one or all of these things. One, bounce killing tons of people, or at least hurting them. Two, making a crater & disrupt the normal day of the Goth Havenites. Or three, the most deadliest, it will explode sending little pieces of rubber into the air & cutting people & they bled to death or at least they will get bruises, which can be life threating. You have been warned, Ham-Boy. Try & stop us."

The Evil Captain Crunch turns to someone off screen.

"I think that went well. What ? The camera is still on. Well, turn it off."

The screen goes black.

"Oh, great. The Evil Captain Crunch is going to drop a rubber band ball on the unknowning public of Goth Haven. I have to stop it, but how ?" Fred thought as he ate more ceral.

As he eats, he thinks. His mind wanders on to other subjects like girls, super heroes, female super heroes, cats, female super heroes riding cats & other stuff. Then his mind wanders back to the Evil Captain Crunch & his rubber band ball then to the thought of a giant rubberband ball squeshing people.

"I know! I can call Jack. He knows everything." Fred says outloud.

Fred finds Jack's number & dials.

"Hello, Jack Squat, I know everything." said a voice on the other end.

"Hi, Jack!"

"Hi, HB. Did you stop that evil overlord in china ?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, what can I do for you ?"

"Well, I need info on Robert Crunch* & his team of Super villians..."

"Yeah, they are going to drop a giant rubberband ball on the city of Goth Haven & hope to hurt people, what about it?"

*WRITER'S NOTE: Robert Crunch is the real name of The Evil Captain Crunch. Yes, Crunch is his real last name & he is the evil twin brother to the ceral icon.

"My question is how are they going to drop it ?"

"The word on the street is that they are going to drop it from a hot air balloon. A hot air balloon was reproted missing near Goth Haven, yesterday. The owner said a sea captain & a dentist stole it."

"Thanks, Jack. One other question."

"Yeah ?"

"Do you know why Amazing Guy would want to meet with me ?"

"Another word on the street is that Amazing Guy wants the JBH to feature up and coming heroes. He might have heard about you from the news or something like that and decided that you might have what it takes, kind of like a Kid Produce but with meat. So, Amazing Guy had Dark Knight do some research on possible members & is now is interviewing them."

"Ok. Who are the rest of the people ?"

"I don't know."

"But, you are Jack Squat, the man who knows everything."

"Well, I don't. My all seeing eye dog does."

"Oh. Bye, Jack."

"Bye, HB."

Fred hangs up.

"The Disgruntles will drop the ball around noon from a hot air balloon, but where in town ?" Fred thinks to himself as he eats more ceral. The box is almost empty.
---------------------------------

Far from Fred's appartment, sit a group of men, shrouded in darkness. They too saw the Evil Captain Crunch's anouncement. The room is smoke filled. They are gathered around a long table, the only light visible is directly over the table. At the head of the table, The Patriarch speaks.

"Robert Crunch & his band of idiots will ruin our plans for the dreaded Ham-Boy. The Disgruntles must be stopped at all costs. We can only destroy the earth's meaty-est hero. We are the only one's with the right to." The Patriarch said.

Some laughed. These people are part of a secert society called E.C.O.L.I., They want to Ham-Boy dead.

"Our first couple of atempts failed, we cannot fail again." The Patriarch said as he hit his fist on the table.

Sitting a few feet from him, under a light, the woman known as The Grey Death is cleaning her knife.
----------------------------

A couple hours later, around 11.

Fred is dressed in his normal clothes, his costume is his back pack. Fred was going to wander the city to find out possible places where you could drop a giant rubber band ball on to the public. Fred is reading the newspaper comics, the only part Fred of the paper he actually reads. Fred thinks if it that important, it would be on TV.

"Heh, that's Garfield."

There is a knock at his door. Fred finds that strange, like with his phone number, no one really knows that he is here. Fred unlocks the door & opens it.

"Hello ?"

"Face it, Tiger. You just hit the jackpot." said a kindly female voice.

"Huh ?"

"Are you Bob Smith ?" She said as she stood there with a bundle of balloons.

"No. I just moved in a couple days ago, so Bob might have lived here before. I'm not sure, I don't know anyone else in the buliding."

Fred was finding it hard to talk to her, he has never really felt like this around a girl. She's beautiful.
Her bright blond hair as tyed back in a ponytail, a pencil was stuck into the ponytail, two strans of her hair hang out in the front. Her emerald green eyes are all sparkly. Fred was finding it hard to not stare at her.

"Crap. My boss is going to kill me. Sorry to bother you. Bye, have a nice day." she said as he walked away.

"Wait!" Fred called out to her.

"Yes."

"What's your name ? My name is Fred."

"Hi, Fred. My name is Amantha, my friends call me Amy. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

They shook hands, then she turned & walked away with her balloons. Fred has just had his first big city crush.

Fred closed the door & looks at the front page of this morning's Goth HavenTimes "Asst. Mayor Macklinberg To Hold Rally." The rally is at Goth Haven City Hall at noon.

"That's it. The Disgruntles are going to drop the giant rubberband ball from the hot air balloon while the rally is happening."
------------------------------

At the Disgruntles' warehouse, Robert Crunch reads the paper.

"Heh, that's Garfield."

Robert turns to the local news section of the paper.

"Asst. Mayor Macklinberg is holding a rally today, millions expected. That's where we will drop the ball." Robert thinks.

"Hey, Doctor. Is the Balloon ready ?" Crunch yells out to Dr. Peacock.

"Soon, all we need to do is load the ball in. Is the whole team coming ?"

"No. Kitty BoomBoom is on a mission, Auntie Freeze almost never gets up before 2 pm & Grammar didn't want to come. He said it was below him."
-------------------------------

Goth Haven City Hall
11:45 AM

About 300 people showed up, one is Fred Harris.

"I thought there would have been more people." Fred thought as he looked around & up into the sky.

Fred looks at his watch, it's around noon. Coming from the east corner of the sky is a hot air balloon. Fred sees it but no one else does.

"We are going to start a little early, ok ?" Said Assistant Mayor J. Thomas Macklinberg.

"I have called this rally to announce my re-election campain."

The crowd cheers, Fred goes to change, the balloon comes closer.

"Uh, Robert...."

"It's The Evil Captain Crunch when were in public."

"Ok. The Evil Captain Crunch, I think we have problem."

"What?"

Dr. Peacock points down & the bottom of the basket starts to break due to the weight of the ball.

"I pleadge for a better, cleaner & safer Goth Haven." says Macklinberg.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Macklinberg. I have something to say."

"Who said that?"

"I did." said Fred, now in full Ham-Boy costume.

"And you are ?"

"My name is Ham-Boy & coming from the east corner of the city is a hot air balloon. I have reason to believe that this rally will be attacked & that hot air balloon will be the cause. So, If this rally could be moved or called off."

"Sure. Anything for our city's super heroes. First, can I have photo with you?"

"Uh, Ok."

"Smile!" said Janie Olsen, photographer for the Goth HavenTimes pop culture magizine,The Six.

"Everyone else move into the Press room. Let's give this hero room to do his thing."

The rally moves inside. Ham-Boy is a bit dazed by the flash of the camera, he sits down on the city hall steps.

"Where are they going? Is the rally over?" said the Evil Captain Crunch.

"Do we drop it or not?" Dr. Peacock asks.

"No. Well try this again later."

*RIP*

"To late." Dr. Peacock says as he watches the ball drop.

"What?" said Evil Captain Crunch as he turns towards Dr. Peacock & almost fall out the bottom of the basket. The ball hits the ground & falls apart in the middle of the street, a couple cars run over it.

"My decades worth of work, ruined." The Evil Captain Crunch said as watched the ball get run over by a school bus.

"Thought you were going to put a bomb inside as a suprize for Ham-Boy ?" Dr. Peacock said.

"I was but when I thought of it, I already had done to much to the ball to add the bomb."

"Well, that was kind of anti-climatic." Fred said.

"Yes, it was." said a voice from above Ham-Boy.

Ham-Boy looked up & hovering over him is Amazing Guy. His cape flapped in the wind.

"I had another apointment in the city & I have same time. I thought maybe we could talk now, if your not busy."
------------

A couple hours later, Amy makes a phone call.

"Hello, ECC. Bob Smith wasn't there, I guess he moved. Someone else was living in his appartment. Yes, I know. I said the line & some guy named Fred answered the door, he said he just moved in. What do you want me to do with the balloons ? Ok, I'll be back at the warehouse in a half an hour. Bye."

She hangs up & goes to catch the bus.


To be continued...


------------
Footnotes:

Most of this story is a slight redone version of the Ham-Tastic Adventures of Ham-Boy, Numbuh 1 & 2. I hadn't posted anything in awhile, so I wanted to post something & the idea of this story came to me. Plus, some things have been add to the Ham-Boy mythos that were mentioned in this stories but were clarified after the posting of these stories.

I'd like to thank Ian for his help on the looks of the Disgruntles.

12-231-61-13.client.attbi.com (12.231.61.13)
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Mac_PowerPC)
[ New ] [ Tales of the Parodyverse ]
Follow-Ups:

Echo™ v1.8 © 2004 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2004 by Mangacool Adventure